A Year Later…

A year ago today, quite a few of us lost a good friend. I had just started to really get to know Dewey. I had followed her in the background for awhile, lurking on her blog as I do on so many others still, and just a few months before her death I started talking to her. She was amazing, absolutely amazing. I don’t know what else to say about her aside from that. I remember her making me feel special, while at the same time she felt like an old friend even though I had really just met her. Then I remember reading about her death. Shock doesn’t begin to describe the feelings that I felt. I didn’t know what to feel. It was a different feeling than I had ever experienced with death before. I think it was because I had never actually met Dewey in person. Because our relationship was represented by the words we shared and suddenly there were no more words. Just silence there. An empty, unknown space that didn’t allow for any closure.

But with the help of some friends, I slowly realized that the relationship was more than words and continues to be more than words. There are things she inspired that live on and memories that she gave me that live on, and I’ll always cherish those. Always. Those things don’t go away. There is still something different about her death…a feeling of openess that is hard to close..that silence that still protrudes, and that continues to hurt. But I think that’s natural.

Some people may not understand why we still grieve Dewey’s death, people who never knew her…and this is the reason why, because she was our friend. She continues to be our friend. And she was such an amazing person. I know that she’s personally responsible for making some of my already special friendships in this blogging community even stronger and I can never thank her enough for that. That’s a gift that I could never repay and I know she’d want no return payment for that πŸ˜‰ She single handedly started Weekly Geeks, the 24 Hour Read-A-Thon, The Bookworms Carnival, and so many more things and did it all like it was nothing. And she was such a wonderful humanitarian.

I also can’t help but feel like things have changed since her death. The community has gotten divisive at times, blogging has become about popularity in some spheres, people have gotten divisive. Does this all have to do with Dewey? Surely, not. But I just know that she was a uniting force. And she kept her cool. As any community grows, as the book blogging community has, things are bound to get controversial. But Dewey just had this air of peace and serenity and balance about her and she was the master of that.

Anyway, all this is to say, I miss you so much still Dewey and I’ll continue to miss you. And you’ll continue to hear from me πŸ™‚ I just want to take a moment to thank all of you wonderful blogging friends for being the wonderful people you are, too. There are so many of you that do share those same qualities that Dewey had and have your own qualities that are unique to you and just as special and you mean the world to me for that.

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11 Responses

  1. *hugs* You said everything so well Chris.

  2. It doesn’t really feel like it’s been a whole year, ya know? I still remember when I read the post her husband put up. So very heartbreaking.

    A beautiful tribute, Chris.

  3. *hug* Love you, Chris.

  4. Oh my dear friend, perfectly said.

    *hugs, and more hugs*

  5. I really wish I’d had a chance to know her. Even having just heard of her a few weeks before her death, I was shocked when she passed. :/

  6. Thank you for sharing these beautiful words. Hugs, -Care

  7. another great post. *hugs*

  8. This is a really nice remembrance, Chris. As someone who still hasn’t gotten used to doing these kind of annual remembrances, I know just how hard it is. I barely knew Dewey, but had enough interaction with her to know that I liked her and really admired what she was doing for the blogging community. Her death really was a shock and it is hard to believe that it has been a year since it happened. My heart and prayers go out to all who cherished her, most especially her family. I imagine it is immensely hard for them right now. I love how so many have kept her spirit alive over the past year and encourage all of you to continue doing so as long as you feel it in your heart to do so. I’m sure she’s smiled down upon the community many times over the past year.

  9. Great post! Sorry I am so slow reading it…

  10. Chris, you’ve written a wonderful tribute to both Dewey and the book blogging community. I’ve so enjoyed this fantastic community that fills such a need for many of us.

  11. How wonderful your words are of Dewey. I feel very much the same way abouther! πŸ™‚ You said it much better!

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